a wholesome christian story

Faith had always been the cornerstone of the Ackerton family. Since he was a boy Bernard had barely had a Sunday where he had not visited the church, like his father and his father’s father. The family's heirlooms were wooden symbols of the cross. The original sparks of Bernard and Susan’s relationship had ignited over their catholic faith and their eldest son, Adrian, seemed a great person to carry on this lineage.

They’d both thought long and hard about if Adrian should go to public school. It was an unpleasant place that might toss their boy in the wrong direction. Home schooling seemed the better option and for a few years Adrian learned everything from his living room sofa. A strapping boy, the neighbours would say, so handsome and growing so fast! He had bleach blonde hair and watery blue eyes, ironed his own shirts and helped his grandparents out on weekends.


But like all children he grew and grew until the house could no longer contain him and his parents signed him up for public school. His classmates viewed him as a peculiar thing: a nice lad but sheltered to a strange degree even for their age. He didn’t know about things, didn’t know the F word, didn’t know what you called a woman’s bits. One day curiosity got the better of Adrian Ackerton and he rummaged through the bag of a boy he didn’t like, a bully, who was always sniggering at him and saying mean things, and stole the exact thing he was looking for: a magazine with a naked woman on the front with only small stars to cover her mammaries.


Adrian flicked through the pages later that night on his bed. He took a liking to one picture in particular: it had a redheaded woman lying naked in a field with her legs open pointed to the camera with a big ginger bush in the middle. It made his heart beat faster. He shuddered then felt a wetness in his pants. He hid the pants and washed them himself so his mother wouldn’t find out.


He started looking at the magazine whenever he got bored, teaching himself the correct hand movements to repeat the feeling of his first time. Until all the women in the magazine became familiar to him. After this he began to use his family computer in the spare room. It had been a weekly thing then turned into a daily thing and soon became an almost hourly thing.


Adrian’s poor pecker was taking a hammering. It was tomato red by the end of most days. His penis started to become resentful of the right hand, and the brain, of the body it was joined to. Its existence had become only the service to feed what appeared to be an addiction. Adrian’s penis was getting very angry and was close to breaking point.


It was on a lazy Saturday night; Saturdays, of course, a lot worse for a teenager’s penis because they lack the school day to protect them from the constant abuse. It was nighttime and Adrian was going for his fifth session of the day. He’d remembered a video he’d found last week where two Russian lesbians straponed each other outdoors and he had a craving to watch it again. He ate supper quick so he could hurry to the computer


He was only a few strokes in when Adrian’s penis decided it had had enough. The penis used all its force and stretched itself out as long as it could go. It stretched out up to the ceiling then curved round to grow even longer. (If only Adrian’s female classmates could have seen it). Adrian was screaming. The penis wrapped itself around a latch on the window frame and then around Adrian’s neck. The penis picked Adrian’s whole body up and strangled him in the air until the life had been choked from his body. His carcass floated mid-air, spinning slowly.


Adrian's parents soon came in to see what the screaming had been about. What they saw was not a very Christian sight at all.

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